Texas A&M University vs. Rice

Ladies and gentlemen, today the MOB pokes fun at ... Rice University itself. Presenting the premier performance of the Secret Owl Band – the S.O.B.'s!

Today's show is a salute to some of the institutions which make up Rice University. The S.O.B.'s have formed a large owl, the mascot of the school. It seems that our friends and relatives always give worthless nic-nacs as gifts for all occasions. By the time he graduates, the Rice student can amass hundreds of these senseless items. Sometimes it seems that people in the real world never miss a chance to give us the bird.

The S.O.B.'s now pay tribute to the value of a Rice education. After four years and thousands of dollars, the hopeful graduate goes out into the job market. The band has formed a big dollar and a four-leaf clover, because in the long run, the only way a Rice graduate gets rich is the same way as everyone else – with a little bit of luck!

The S.O.B.'s now salute athletics at Rice. The teams which we field in the Southwest Conference are typical of individuals at Rice – they have their moments of brilliance, but they sometimes tend to collapse under pressure. The band has formed a football, basketball, and baseball. Watch now as these balls lose their hot hot air.

Finally, the S.O.B.'s pause to remember the MOB of years past. Even though they had good intentions, they spent more time in hot water than a teabag. The band, with tongue-in-cheek, has formed the rump of the old MOB. Watch now as they get a chunk removed by their critics.

There you have it fans, another season down the tube.

Thank you and good day.