[Ed. note: This is the best-guess performance date for this script from sometime in the 70s.]
Ladies and gentlemen:
The question has often been asked, 'What will the MOB be like in the future?" After many hours of genuflection and a few trips to our greasy Quija Board, we have perceived the answer to this riddle. Tonight, we are proud to present the MOB 50 years from now – the Geriatric Owl Band!
Band shuffles out of tunnel into first formation dressed as senior citizens.
Yes friends, here comes the group that has been laughed at by more people than even the Rice cheerleaders. While we're waiting for them to get into their first formation, I'll bring you up to date on what has happened over the years. The uniforms, you may note, are the same. They have survived floods, fistfights, and hollow attempts by the administration at replacing them. Fortunately, a recent plan hopes to shrink the coats and sell them as tuxedos for cockroaches. The fuzzy white hats were sold several years ago to be used as Q-tips for sperm whales. And, to this day, wherever the band goes, their critics are sure to be right behind them.
Band has assumed the first formation; drum major blows whistle.
On those lazy afternoons while they're waiting for the morning mail, the aging MOBsters like to pass the time feeding their pet cowbirds. By smuggling out their ample leftovers from dormitory meals, they provide the minimum daily requirement for thousands of these feathered friends. As a result, these handsome pets make a point of "dropping by" the campus every day.
Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head
Some people wonder if there's sex after sixty. We'd like to think that there is, but we're not sure. We've been at Rice all this time, and we're not even sure there is sex after high school. The MOB has formed two doubting hearts and plays tribute to their 50 years of cold showers.
Will You Still Love Me at 64?
Some things in life cannot be hurried at our age. Although other people rely upon Serutan to help Nature's way, the food service has been adding a secret ingredient to all main dishes served on campus for years. The MOB has formed a prune and salutes this unsung fruit with a little number to get the band moving.
Pop, Pop, Fizz, Fizz
Band marches off field to music.
There you have it fans, a real bunch of regular guys! Thank you and good night.
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