A LESSON IN ECONOMICS
WHY JOHNNY CAN'T INVEST
BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE BROKERS YOU CAN TRUST AT:
H & R MOB
AT H & R MOB, OUR MOTTO IS: GO FOR BROKE
During the preceding, MOBsters – dressed regularly except for jackets and ties over their vests – march to midfield and into...
PROBLEM #1: U + H = ?
Dollar sign marches into cent sign.
HOW'S THAT FOR A DOWNWARD ADJUSTMENT?
Q-Tip and ear
Commercial break as MOBsters in suits and bull heads kick up dust and run over a couple other MOBsters. Strechers can remove a couple injured instruments.
At H & R MOB, our specially trained finance experts know how you should go about securing that one thing you've wanted so bad you can practically taste it right now. Yes, we understand you have an interest in protecting your cotton investment this season, so H & R MOB suggests that you corner the Q-Tip industry. That way, you can take all that luscious, fluffy cotton and stick it in a secure place.
Q-Tip marches into [the] ear.
No public university can claim a sufficient number of deductions without an absolutely gigantic marching band to write off as a dependent. In Houston alone there is one marching band so huge it can spell out "ANTIDISESTABLISHMENTARIANISM" with three 'G's to spare. With a band this size, you need a mascot so fierce nobody will laugh when they find out you've named it after a brand of root beer.
Shasta Root Beer Theme
To parody the UH white glove treatment, certain MOB members can lay on their backs and stick their feet up in the air, cum white socks.
[from right to left]
M E O W
[followed later by 'L S' as 'M E' goes off the left side, leaving...]
O W L S
The qualified financials analysts of H & R MOB know a good investment when it hits them over the head. That is why you are urged to start collecting pieces of art as a student. Simply by going to a local art festival, you can be exposed to things that normally hang in private collections. The artists at such festivals always appreciate coverage, so even if you go just to look, at least you can get a photograph and run it in the fine arts section of the student newspaper.
If you are not completely satisfied with the advice of H & R MOB, you may ignore us absolutely free of charge. And if the government should arrest you and throw you in jail for investment fraud and tax evasion, you can count on us to be unhappy about it. Because at H & R MOB, you aren't just a client, you're a patsy.
MOB marches to sidelines playing...
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