Baylor University vs. Rice

"Go Rice!" and enter the field.

Many scientists believe that The MOB evolved from primitive ape-like beings, although most believe that primitive ape-like beings evolved from The MOB. Creationists believe that The MOB simply appeared in December of 1971. For homecoming, we will set this misconception to rest as we go back to the very beginning, to examine the Evolution of The MOB...

Billions and billions of years ago, the Earth was a molten mass. Slowly, the Earth cooled...

"Get on with it!"

Oh all right – we won't go that far back. The origins of The MOB really begin about five million years ago, when primitive hominids first learned the secret of Rock Music...

Evolution took a major leap forward with the development of musical notes. However, the primitive Hunter-Gatherer Bands of the Stone Age were not aware of the limitations of stone as a material for musical instruments, while we – [pause] – take it for granite.

Fossil records show that many of these early forms of MOBster soon became extinct. We have with us today, however, actual living specimens of the ancestral MOB species: Australopithecus Alumnus. These survivors of the ICE AGE or BIG CHILL will now perform a carefully restored classic from their long-vanished era. Here they are, perfectly preserved, the RICE ALUMNI BAND.

Finally, Evolution reached its ultimate peak and the modern MOB appeared. As primitive, vestigial traits such as marching vanished, the MOB began to spread outward, sweeping all other life forms aside until it finally achieved its present position of halftime supremacy. We've come a long way...