Rice vs. University of Houston

ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION... The MOB is preparing to play their first tune, please extinguish all fires and return yourselves to the upright and locked position... The show you are about to see contains scenes so graphic...

"HOW GRAPHIC IS IT?!"

It's SO graphic that parents are advised to videotape it for children who are not able to see it in person. Here, we'll spell it out for you:

This afternoon the MOB would like to show you just a few of the 101 Things You Can Do With A Marching Band, That Doesn't March.

The MOB is a group of trained professional entertainers, and we would like to caution you against trying this next routine in your in own home – the odds of incurring serious injury are just too great...

A marchingless band like ours can easily demonstrate many of the laws of nature. Opposites attract. Brownian motion. Entropy. Elastic collisions – just watch the tubas. Even the Coriollis effect as our season rapidly goes down the tubes.

The MOB salutes the University of Houston officials who made the valiant attempt to play the Cougars' homecoming game, on campus, in Robertson Stadium. Although the Southwest Conference forced you to play the game here in the Dome, our hats are off to you for at least trying to let the teams play... on grass. If only the Longhorns had shown this kind of support for Edwin Simmons.

Where were you in 1962? Most undergrads weren't anywhere. But you could have been a man who took over a struggling football program and turned it into a winner. Coach Bill Yeoman did just that with the Cougars. Now Bill is moving on to a new challenge... ...raising money for the Cougars during these hard times. We in the MOB would like to say "farewell" to the Coach and offer him a token of our respect... ...and encouragement for his new position... ...his first donation...