University of Houston vs. Rice

Rice Stadium – Houston, Texas

September 2, 2006

The Sensitive Owl Band

 

Announcer:

Look around you. We've got new turf, a new coach, and new attitudes. So how will The MOB jump on this bandwagon? Let overreactions be a thing of the past as the Sensitive Owl Band presents a halftime that smiles back.

Text Display:

Just watch the SOBs!

Music:

drum intro

MOB:

"Go Rice!"

 

Formation:

S O B

Announcer:

As the Sensitive Owl Band, we firmly believe in censorship. Just listen to how it improves this popular children's story...

 

[ play recorded speech with censoring 'beep' tones as indicated ]

"Emily":

I'm Emily Elizabeth, and I have a _____
My _____ is a big, red _____.
Other kids I know have _____s, too.
Some are big _____s. And some are red _____s.
But I have the biggest, reddest _____ on our street.

Text Display:

I'm Emily Elizabeth, and I have a DOG.
My DOG is a big, red DOG.
Other kids I know have DOGs, too.
Some are big DOGs. And some are red DOGs.
But I have the biggest, reddest DOG on our street.

Music:

Clifford's Grand Entry

Field Action:

As Clifford and Emily play, as kids and pets are wont to do, before being noticed by a group of censors. The censorship crew begins to hide and forbid the simplest of pleasures, until Clifford is forced to chase them away.

 

Formation:

an amorphous blob

Announcer:

The S-O-B dislikes the controversy in politics. For example, "Kinky" Friedman got his nickname on the ballot, while Carole Keeton McClellan Rylander Strayhorn Jingleheimer Smit — how many names does this woman have?!...

... she was denied the simple name "Grandma." If they joined forces instead, then we could vote for One Kinky Grandma.

 

[ form transforms into... ]

Formation:

No !

Text Display:

One Kinky Grandma: What would she do for a Klondike® Bar?

Music:

The Stripper

Field Action:

Grandma (with walker) parades along with large strip of butcher paper unwrapping a long list of names for Carole Keeton, etc. At some point, grandma becomes wrapped up in the butcher paper, then starts flinging clothes from inside it.

 

Formation:

"smiley" face

Announcer:

Then again, it's healthy to have a little controversy. Today's headlines make it too easy to rib the powers that be. For example, if we can't make a joke about the Vice President shooting a guy in the face, then the terrorists have already won.

Text Display:

BOO terrorists! Hooray N.R.A.!

Music:

Live and Let Die

Field Action:

Cheney goes hunting random animals and band members. Meanwhile, an elephant starts hunting Cheney. At the end, a giant gun prop comes out from the tunnel, goes BOOM!!

Band scatters off field, except for a lone trumpet, who plays...

Music:

Shave and a Haircut

Announcer:

After all, what fun is the right to bear arms if you don't use it?

Ladies and gentlemen, the two-thousand six Marching Owl Band. Please send all complaints to the A-C-L-U.

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