Band is grouped in the end zone (scoreboard side).
Theme from Dragnet (first part; measure 1)
The story you are about to see is mostly true.
The names have been changed, but the crimes are real.
Theme from Dragnet (second part; measures 2-3)
The city: Austin, Texas.
Sometimes, we get to play here.
We are: The MOB.
Band takes the field, runs to...
a sidelong 'T', a miniature version of the UT band's version, with the crossbar parallel to the endzone
In the two years since The MOB last visited Austin, your team's demeanor — and misdemeanor — has changed. Don't forget to buy a program at today's game: it includes Mack Brown's wrist-slap top-ten and a photo guide to the next episode of America's Most Wanted.
Turning it Loose (I Can't Turn You Loose)
The band has formed the sidelong 'T', the formation the UT band takes when the football team is ready to run onto the field. A few Show Assistants in Longhorn uniforms run through the formation, followed by cops in cop cars. The players are apprehended and led away.
Speaking of discipline, you may have heard that Reveille was recently quarantined after biting the handler that feeds her. Dean Bresciani, A-and-M vice president for mascot affairs, announced today that the Aggies will no longer outsource Reveille's training to Michael Vick.
Born to be Wild
Michael Vick tries to make Reveille "obedient," but Reveille turns the tables and makes Vick do her bidding. She uses various instruments of bondage to coerce Vick into a variety of positions.
(not-quite-random scattering of bodies)
And speaking of Aggies, last year, George W. Bush appointed former Texas A-and-M president Robert Gates as the nation's secretary of defense. Normally, we would make a joke about Aggies and defense, but the President may be on to something — considering they held you to seven points.
[ at the word 'seven' the scattering of MOBsters changes to... ]
Michael Vick, Reveille, and Longhorns parade in front of judges, who grade them as follows:
0 – Mike Vick
12 – Reveille
7 – Longhorns
Now seriously, folks, we share your pain. Since the last time we visited Austin, both Rice and Texas played bowl games against Trojans. The Longhorn family was blessed with another national championship. Unfortunately for Rice, our Trojans didn't break.
Run. Like. Hell.
Ladies and steers, the two-thousand seven Rice University Marching Owl Band!
Remember, when the "Eyes of Texas are upon you," that includes a jury of your peers.
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MOB Scripts are the intellectual property of Rice University and various contributors.
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