There once was a Marching Owl Band
Who thought that they had a great plan.
Some verses they'd write
For their halftime tonight:
Now please won't you give them a hand!
a dollar sign
First, a Shakespearean sonnet:
To you, Alums, Rice never can be old,
for as she was when first she caught your eye
such seems her beauty still. Though where lawns rolled
new buildings spread, new towers pierce the sky;
The plenteous fountains from which you once drank
of wisdom deep, as of Saint Arnold's Brew,
are dry. Professors you would like to thank
are gone. Behind their desks are faces new.
O' students of today, a word to you.
Four years will pass like smoke upon the wind
so cherish them, explore, try something new.
You'll never have a chance like this again.
But graduation need not be "farewell."
Send all donations through the U.S. Mail!
Money for Nothing
Students go through classes and parties, then don robes for graduation. After they receive their diplomas, a lawyer or other money-grubbing type (e.g. wearing the "money jacket") selects one of the graduates, turns him over, and shakes all his money into a bag.
an oval, representing a race track
Next for you, we have Haiku:
Beer Bike in the spring,
ridicule drunken buffoons:
they're forty yards out.
They're thirty yards out;
ready, set, suck suck suck suck!
Darn, Jones wins again.
A mock Beer Bike event is staged around the oval track, including: tricycles, unicycles, a hot-pink bicycle, a runner, and – if possible – the Keg Bike.
And now, a verse from our sponsor:
On thirteen and thirty-one
they're never lonely.
They run in packs
while wearing only
Walkin' On The Sun
[during music, formation changes to]
a Human posterior
A Baker-13 (Club 13) run, involving the "naked" suits and large quantities of shaving cream. Representatives from various Colleges attack the scantily-clad runners.
Next, we have a limerick!
There once was a statue named "Willy"
and three Wiessmen who turned him 'round silly.
Much money was spent,
a small pin was bent,
and T-shirts were sold willy-nilly.
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Finally, some free verse:
You spin me right-round, baby, right-round.
Facing Fondren, baby — right-round, round-round.
A model of Willy's Statue is destroyed ("blown up"), beginning the sequential collapse of the script "Rice" formation.
Band leaves the field; announcer continues with the Homecoming Court.
Ladies and gentlemen, the two-thousand seven Marching Owl Band is proud to announce yet another disturbing Homecoming Court:
Your Homecoming princess is: Todd Graham.
Escorting Graham is her prince: Halo's Master Chief.
Eclipsing Sid Rich is your Homecoming queen: the Rainbow Building.
And finally, the two-thousand seven Homecoming king: green construction fences.
There you have it.
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