static (approx. 3 seconds)
And that was "Static," from John Cage's new album, "White Noiz." Welcome to K-T-R-U, where we take the time to thank our DJs — and our loyal listener. And now, the news.
Band runs onto the field.
Today, the world has its first Human-Buffalo hybrid. This bio-engineering project was conceived at a Marshall house party. The union combines the size of a buffalo with the inclination of a man.
They say necessity is the mother of invention, but in this case we hope the invention's mother was the bison.
E W W
Now that's a labor of love?
U + Ur Hand
Before the credit crunch, General Motors ran ads introducing their future line of energy-efficient and environmentally-friendly vehicles. But since America no longer has homes to mortgage for S-U-Vs, the only "green" project in Detroit is the one aimed at your pocketbook. In the end, we expect G-M stock to go down faster than a narcoleptic skydiver.
profile of a car driving with a flat rear tire
Pull the cord in 3... 2... zzzzzz
This year, celebrities around the nation are sharing their methods of cooking the Thanksgiving turkey:
Dick Cheney roasts his gobblers with a flamethrower ... right in the face!
Hillary Clinton uses a conventional oven for her turkey, but the hard part is getting her to concede when it's done.
Finally, Cheech and Chong admitted they don't know how to cook a turkey, but they sure know how to get one baked.
Stuff turkey with 'special' dressing, serve with munchies.
Earlier this month, the Baylor College of Medicine sought relief from a peculiar ailment. A thorough examination revealed a parasite in the monetary stream, causing Baylor to bleed dollars profusely. Despite regular applications of soothing Federal grants, these fiscal hemorrhoids require urgent care — an exceedingly large dose... of Preparation Rice.
B C M
Rice considers turning head, coughing up dough.
Muppet Treasure Island
Did you know that Marshall University has one of the top forensic science programs in the country? That's impressive, considering that forensic science is so difficult in West Virginia:
Where there are no dental records, and they haven't found any new D-N-A in years.
CSI:WV — it's always the first-cousin who dun it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the two-thousand eight Marching Owl Band! We'll be leading the H-E-B Holiday Parade on Thanksgiving morning, so tune-in to watch our special performance!
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