The MOB welcomes Vanderbilt to Rice Stadium for our families' weekend. We here at Rice were intrigued by the news that Vandy is forming a Residential College system just like ours. First you took away Jess Neely, then you took the Houston Oilers, and now the colleges. We wonder... what will you take next?
Band enters the field from the sidelines.
Rice's Residential Colleges are named for famous donors. We encourage Vanderbilt to name its colleges after former students like Al Gore, and the enticingly-named John Jay Hooker. We eagerly await the competitive cheers you'll use at your version of Beer Bike: the Sweet Tea Equestrian Race. May we suggest:
"Hooker's got that rama-jama,"
and "Gore almost wins again!"
William Tell Overture
Sheee's four lengths out.
She's three lengths out.
Ready. Set. Sip, sip, sip.
Jones, Hooker College says it gets $20 per goat.
Hooker stole my BVDs. Ooh! Ahh!
Death from below!
A horse race. SAs dressed as chuggers for the race begin by slowly sipping tea. Costumed horses line up and run the slowest race in history.
And it looks like Hooker comes out on top!
At Rice, students strip down to their underwear one night a year and partake in what we call the Night of Decadence. In Vandy's version, we imagine you stripping down to petticoats and knickers when you get it on at the Night of Northern Aggression — where the South won't be the only thing to rise again.
a pair of men's briefs
Vandy's North/South college rivalries are divisive.
Hey soldier, under this petticoat I'm only wearing five layers.
It's all about the states' rights... to par-tay!
End goal: form a more perfect union. All night long.
SAs in period clothing host a party, rambunctious by 1880s standards. Drunkenness and reveille ensue.
In the realm of science, however, Rice and Vandy seem evenly matched. While academia may always remember Rice professor Richard Smalley's discovery of Buckyballs and nanotubes... laypeople everywhere seem obsessed with Vanderbilt alumnus Al Gore's invention of a different series of tubes...
But at least our Nobel Laureate didn't drop out.
Pomp and Circumstance,
Another Brick in the Wall, Pt. 2
What's left? POLITICS!
Two computer scientists connect a computer to the internet, the former of which then explodes, causing injury to one of the scientists. Paramedics rush out and attend to the computer, ignoring the nerd.
Did you know that twenty percent of Rice students marry other Rice alumni? That's similar to Tennessee, where twenty percent of the population marries within the same family tree.
Of course, five percent of those are Vandy legacy admits.
You can't complain if it's true.
Exit the field.
Ladies and gentlemen, the two-thousand nine Marching Owl Band. Tomorrow's captains of industry and leaders of the free world. Join us at mob.rice.edu
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