Introduction
2010 Rice Homecoming
"The MOB"
Drum Intro
"Go Rice!"
Band enters the field.
These are trying economic times, and The MOB would like to thank all alumni who donated to the university. The MOB would also like to give back to Rice to prove that we aren't just another "underutilized resource." Of course, we're broke, so the only way we can donate is to sell out. So start dialing one eight-hundred fedoras and pull out your credit cards. It's time for some commercials!
Alumzyte
Enzyte™ jingle
This is David. David is doing well, very well indeed! That's because not long ago, David realized he could have something better in his life and bought his university Alumzyte: the once-yearly pill for natural endowment enhancement. And what did he get? Why, a big boost in confidence, a firmer foundation to erect his vision, and a university filled with much bigger checks than before. Side effects may include loss of K-T-R-U, a bulge in your class that won't go away, and a decrease in fun. If your Vision for the Second Century lasts more than four years, seek immediate medical attention.
A face with a neutral expression; as the script is read, a smile forms and grows disproportionately large.
Money for Nothing
David "Leebron" is presented with bigger and bigger checks, and his excitement increases with each one.
Real Men of Genius
The MOB presents: "Real Men of Genius."
Real men of genius!
Today we salute you, Mr. Pompous Political Broadcaster Guy.
Mr. Pompous Political Broadcaster Guy!
For you, there is no such thing as a low blow. You flirt with fact like Tiger Woods hits on waitresses.
Ooh! Show me your nine-wood!
The only spin that you get is the head-rush from sounding smarter than the other guy.
Nanny-nanny Boo-boo!
So crack open a nice cold one, oh Duke of Decibels — you've got some new theories to form.
Mr. Pompous Political Broadcaster Guy!
A beer glass; as the script proceeds, the level of the liquid falls to the bottom.
The School Your School Could Be Like
Hello Cougars! Look at your school. Now back to us. Now back at your school. Now back to us. Sadly, you aren't us. But if you became Tier One you could be like us.
Look down. Back up. Where are you? You're in organic chemistry at the school your school could be like. What's in your hand? Back at me. I have it! It's a textbook with two tickets to the College World Series. Look again: the tickets are now a Championship!
Anything is possible when your school is like Rice. We have the Mayor.
Traditional script "Rice"
Old Spice™ tag
School's Out (for Summer)
Fundraising: Pledge Now Or Else
Uh oh... it looks like we didn't raise enough money. I've just been informed that after a confidential negotiation, Rice has just sold The MOB to U-H for nine-point-five million dollars — leaving Rice without: a sense of humor.
Script "Rice" falls down like dominoes, ending with a gong crash in traditional fashion.
Louie, Louie
Ladies and gentlemen, the two-thousand ten Marching Owl Band, now a part of The University of Houston System. When you see us standing at the corner of Cullen and Elgin, remember... when we ask for change, it's tax-deductible.
The MOB exits the field to the visitor's side, specifically in front of the UH band and the majority of their fans.
