Rice vs. Tulane University

The Superdome – New Orleans, Louisiana

November 13, 2010

Alcohol, Crabs, and Segal. Oh my!

Introduction

Announcer:

Every other year, The MOB researches what's new in the Crescent City. So check out today's topics... but if you're like us, there are better things to do — like your mom.

Music:

(drum intro)

MOB:

"Go Rice!"

Field Action:

Band enters the field.

Bird-on-Bird Romance, what a Hoot!

Announcer:

For instance, take today's game — "The Owl and the Pelican": a Romeo and Juliet story of two schools, both questionable in dignity, in fair New Orleans where we set our scene.

But soft! What smell through yonder trailer reeks? It is the oil refinery. Oh Sammy, Sammy. Wherefore art thou, Sammy?!

Who are we kidding? Conference U-S-A is never that exciting.

Formation:

The smile and frown from a Drama mask.

Music:

Love Shack

Field Action:

The Show Assistants™ recreate a torrid love scene.

Film, undeveloped.

Announcer:

We learned that, while New Orleans is noted for its art scene, not all projects make the grade:

- The film "No Country for Oil Men" is all washed up.
- The cast of "Brokeback Bayou" can't seem to stop wrangling their nutria in the backwoods.
- And "March of the Sea Turtles" was smothered before it could ever hatch.

Formation:

A film-style movie camera, with spinning reels.

Music:

Pipeline

Field Action:

A red carpet walk of shame.

Forgiveness? Doubtful.

Announcer:

We understand that stereotypes can hurt. In spite of our jests, we know that your city is more than alcohol, creeps, and abundant law enforcement...

 

[wait for music, then read following as appropriate for field action]

Announcer:

It appears that the band has a Hurricane. They're drinking pretty fast. Better slow down, band, or bad things will happen...

Look! A giant crab! See, if that's not bad, I don't know what is. That poor nutria. Who will help us now?

Finally, some genuine 'Nawlins law enforcement: it's Steven Segal everybody! ... Steven Segal got the crabs, everyone, it's okay.

Formation:

A Hurricane-style glass, with a "water" line that lowers to the bottom.

Music:

(Portions of:)
Margaritaville
Phantom of the Opera
Mortal Kombat

Field Action:

Drunk nutria attacked by giant red crab, the latter is vanquished by Steven Segal who brandishes a five foot-long knife.

The Moral

Announcer:

If there's anything we can learn, it is this:

Don't buy the hurricanes at Joe's Crab Shack. But if you do get crabs after a few too many, just call Steven Segal.

Music:

Louie, Louie (Calypso style)

Field Action:

Band exits the field to the visitors' side, near its seats.

Announcer:

The Rice University Marching Owl Band is directed by Chuck Throckmorton, who is assisted by:

Drum Major Ryan Kruse
drum minor Ollie Barthelemy, and
Show Assistant Executive Producer Heather Beaber.

Thank you, and enjoy the rest of the game!

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